Friday, July 12, 2024

Is fear of failure holding you back? By Ramsay Banna

 



Is Fear of Failure Keeping You Stuck? (How to Break Free)


Ohhh Ramsay Banna



You've got big dreams. You want to start that business, ask for the promotion, or finally do the thing you've been putting off out of fear. But every time you psych yourself up, the gremlins of self-doubt creep in. What if you fall flat on your face? Fail spectacularly? Let everyone down? We've all been there. Failure is scary. But you know what's scarier? Regret. Not trying. Letting fear hold you back from living your best life. The truth is, failure is part of the journey. It helps us grow. In this article, we'll talk about why we fear failure, how to reframe it, and small steps you can take right now to get unstuck. 

Failure doesn't have to stop you; it can propel you forward if you let it.

Understanding Fear of Failure: What Is It and Why Do We Have It?


What is Fear of Failure?


Fear of failure is that nagging voice in your head warning you not to take risks. It's the anxiety and self-doubt that creeps in when you're stepping outside your comfort zone. Fear of failure can manifest as procrastination, self- sabotage, perfectionism, or avoidance of new challenges.

It's a natural response hardwired into our brains to protect us from potential dangers. But in today's world, the consequences of failure are rarely life-threatening. Yet that primal fear can still paralyze us from pursuing our goals.


Why Do We Fear Failure?


There are several reasons why we develop a fear of failure:

• Past Experiences - If you've failed at something before, it can make you overly cautious about risking failure again.

• Perfectionism - Having unrealistically high expectations can make any shortcoming feel like a failure. 

• Low Self-Esteem - Doubting your abilities makes you more fearful of confirming those doubts through failure.

• Harsh Critics - Overly critical parents, teachers or partners can instill a fear of not measuring up.

• Society's Stigma - Our culture often sees failure as something to be ashamed of rather than a learning experience.


While a little fear can motivate us, too much fear of failure becomes counterproductive. It keeps us stuck in our comfort zones, unwilling to take the risks needed for growth and achievement.


For more information, contact Ramsay Banna

www.training-choice.com.au

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

Take it from Kramer- Quitting ain’t failure

Ramsay Banna take...


 

In Seinfeld Kramer and Jerry have a bet that Kramer will get rid of all his furniture and build different levels with carpeted steps. Jerry doesn’t believe him and so he bets he wouldn’t. Later on Kramer comes back to say that he is not doing it, to which the argument about who won the bet ensues.

Now this issue between them is more of a semantic one but it touches on a very important and subtle distinction, one that has a huge impact on one’s life. Is it a considered failing if you quit?

Society at large has given us this impression that quitting is a moral failure, that we are letting our younger selves down, that quitting is for losers. Open any autobiography and you will see how they preach that they never quit even when the odds were heavily stacked against them and that is why they are where they are now. While this is undeniable it is incomplete. This information suffers from survivorship bias, which occurs when a successful subgroup is mistaken as the entire group, due to the invisibility of the failure subgroup. You wouldn’t read the story of a failed actor/musician/sportsman/entrepreneur for lessons and no doubt there are many that also did not quit and are still hoping for their ‘big break’ at 82.

Moreover, as Malcolm Gladwell outlines in his book ‘Outliers’ people tend to overemphasise the role they played in their success and skip (through no fault of their own, they may not have even been aware of it) all the other factors that came into play.

Quitting has a bad reputation and I have seen many people close to me- including my sister- push on with something despite not enjoying it anymore for fear of the negative feelings that come with quitting. What drives this is a sunk cost fallacy- the idea that you have invested so much time/money/pain/blood, sweat and tears that giving up becomes harder as you go along because it is all for nothing.

But this touches on an important point. Is it all for nothing? If your measure of success is fame and fortune, and you have failed to achieve it in your pursuit, it is natural that that would be your conclusion. But perhaps the odds were stacked against you to begin with. You are statistically more likely to win the lottery than become famous- and yet when you buy the lottery ticket you don’t expect it will be the winning one like you expect your endevour will succeed.

So perhaps it is a case of reframing. Did you learn in the years you put time and energy into something? Did you come out wiser, more patient, hard working? Can you transfer those skills into something else?

If you are investing and the house price plummeted because the area is no longer attractive do you wait to it goes up again or sell it, cut your losses and invest with the money into something more lucrative? Similarly, with the limited time you have why not cut your losses and put it into something you now enjoy and can benefit from in the future. It is hard because you will be letting the little kid down but you let them down the moment you decided not to buy the lamborghini they used to say they would get when the grow up. Or every time you nap during the day when as a kid you swore you couldn’t wait to grow up and not nap. Keeping their promise is overrated. So give yourself permission to quit. Keep doing the thing if you enjoy it of course, but allow yourself to accept that you did not achieve what you set out to and that that is not failure.

In the words of Kramer “There’s no bet if I’m not doin’ it’’.

Ramsay Banna, a fan

www.training-choice.com.au


Monday, July 1, 2024

Setting my new record by Ramsay Banna

I


 am not a morning person, so I start at 7am, which to a purist might sound like a good reason to cancel the trek that day.

The first 4-5 hours are a gruelling uphill made worse by the lack of trees for most of the stretch and the occasional skull (animal's, I hope) – reminding me how thirsty I am and how stupid it was to assume there would be water on the way.  At around 1800m altitude, I reach the top of the ridge and get a rewarding view of the alpine ridge of Stara Planina.  What follows is the most enjoyable part of the trek, getting in and out of forests, crossing springs (water, finally!), alternating easy climbs and descents and taking in the amazing views in each direction. 

You get peeks of the summit every now and then too - Botev is easily recognised by the striped red and white radio tower perched on top of it.  Together with the weather station, it has been home to scientists for close to 6 decades.  I am a bit put off by the fact that what I consider a great adventure is seen as a commute by many of them. 

The arrival at the Botev Refuge marks a change in pace, and slope incline, unfortunately.  It sits 300m below the summit and this final ascent is an absolute trudge.  The path is eroded by melting snow each year and if you look up you risk stepping on an unstable rock and breaking an ankle.  Not that there is anything to look at – on the way up that is.  A massive hill, nothing to break the monotony - not a single tree - and a tower marking the final destination which looks deceptively close and makes that last hour torture. 

Once at the top, I am rewarded with amazing views in every direction.  The mountain stretches east and west and cuts the country in half – if you look north, you can see the great Danube river on a clear day.  To the south, the Aegean sea – or so they say… Its either not a clear day or my eyesight has taken a hit after all these years of studying.

But you don't need to look that far because the range of summits east and west, lining up the ridge, are simply spectacular.


I am acutely aware that this is the halfway point of my trek and that most accidents happen on the way down.  And that I am so tired I can just lie down and fall asleep, right there between the grazing cattle with cow dung looking like a really attractive pillow at that moment.

O

n the way down I appreciate the views I didn't get a chance to see while I was dragging myself uphill, so I stop for a late lunch and take it all in.  The valley between the mountains is glittering with numerous lakes.  A helicopter is doing rounds from one of the lakes to a nearby forest which has caught fire, an unfortunate common sight in the summer.  It looks like a little bug, hovering over the water and dipping its bucket then zooming towards the smoke to dump it on top.  From this altitude you only see beauty.  None of the abandoned concrete ruins which pollute the small villages, remnants of 40 yrs of building a doomed political system and unattractive skyline.

A shuffle next to me brings me back to the here and now.  I turn and face a muzzle.  I freeze, mind going blank.  In preparation for the hike, I spent some time reading what manner of wildlife I could expect to meet on the mountain and every article warning about the big brown bear (while making a point to mention it is docile in comparison to the world-famous Bulgarian sheepdog).  I find myself wishing it is the bear, but that's distinctly a dog's muzzle I am staring at. 

I go through my options and come up with a list of one.  Stay still and hope the dog thinks I am an inanimate object.  Luckily it takes only a minute for the shepherd to appear because I can't trust my shaky muscles to keep the mannequin illusion.  He calls to his dog (it is a she, if gender is still observed in dog world and she has a sweet, albeit almost extinct name 'Todorka' – the Slavic equivalent of Dorothea, a reversed-syllable Theodora). Dorothea bounds in his direction happily but my relief is short-lived because she decides to inflict more terror on me and is back breathing in my neck.

What makes Karakachans such good sheep-guarding dogs is how smart they are and the training they go through.  Used in the past as border army watchdogs, they get trained to mistrust humans and keep them frozen in place until the arrival of the men in charge, usually carrying big guns.   Dorothea's owner, it seems, is either from the anti-gun, we-are-all-brothers lobby, or the world's worst dog trainer because Dorothea might look like a Karakachan but identifies as a Pomeranian. After an inhibited display of joy át getting to know me and appreciation for half of my sandwich, we part ways with Dorothea and I continue on my way down. 

As correctly expected, the worst part of the entire trek is the last descent, the one that I hated on the way up and loath even more on the way down.  I think I am seeing a lot more skulls but by then I might be hallucinating.  It's a relentless downhill and no attempt to ease the burn in my muscles by running fast, flapping my arms or walking backwards, skater style, makes the slightest difference.

9

hours after starting the trek I arrive back to what I expect to be a hero's welcome.  Most sources put this as anything between 11 and 15 hours trek and I have done it in 9, breaks included.  What I am met with instead is the stony silence and hostile faces of my fellow travellers.  Much later, when I have been forgiven, I learn that I omitted to tell them my destination when discussing my plan for the day.  A hike, it seems, is not what they would call a 33km round trek.  But that's a few days later.  Tonight I just wash the dishes in the hope that this is accepted as sufficient repentance for my sins. 

I’d love to hear your stories of (not carefully thought through) one day challenges!

Please contact Ramsay Banna

www.training-choice.com.au

July 2017

 

Exploring Taman Negara: Malaysia’s Untamed Wilderness

Exploring Taman Negara: Malaysia’s Untamed Wilderness